Almost every guy I meet ends up telling me the sex he had with other people. I must give off a vibe that I'm not really an earthling, and that my antennas were clipped off shortly after birth (in the delivery room, no less.) One conversation went like this:

Guy: Some girls I've been with like being called whore and slut.

Me: That's roleplay. There is a difference between roleplay and actually referring to women that way.

Guy: Girls I was with liked it when I did that. They asked me to.

Me: I don't date guys because they kiss and tell.

Guy: I never use a girl's name. I just say I was with a girl last night, and did 1, 2, and 3.

Me: People put two and two together. You're not as discreet as you think.

Guy: Most of my friends are girls. I'm just up for doing anything... like one girl wanted me to cum on her face.

Me: Castration is sexy.

Guy: I figured we wouldn't have good sex, Roxy.

Me: Yup.

Senior year is going by too fast. I should whine about what I lost, missed, and still don't have. But I'm not ^_^. Here's What I got:

1. Too much homework
2. Too little sleep (see sleep-deprived Russian bear on top)
3. An alter ego! How scary ^_^
4. A lot of romance stories I started writing but can't seem to finish...
5. An anime obsession that has turned into elite anime snobbery!
6. Senioritis.
7. This weird obsession with "Girls Aloud"
8. A computer screen winter-tan that rivals Bill Gates'
9. Writer's block. ARRRRRRGH.
10. My big black boots.

What about you?

Because I Hate You Isn't Good Enough

          Everybody hates something. Girls named Stephanie. Men with pot bellies. The French. Cheerleaders. There isn't any person who can honestly say they haven't ever judged a book by its cover, or who hasn't at one point held a prejudice. Today I was very upset because a black girl gave me an attitude, one she wouldn't have given me if my skin had been as dark as hers. This is not the first time I've felt racism. My skin is a pasty white, and I've had a black store deny me service, three black women purposely rig a test I took, and more than enough black people glaring at me and snapping at me. It's gotten to such a point that I'm almost afraid to talk to a black person, because everything I say can and will be used against me. But, I want to make one thing clear. I don't hate black people just because of some bigots.

          Every community, even my own, has bigots, and the best way to fight bigotry is to educate yourself against it. I feel frustrated because I have yet to hear a black person speak up against reverse racism. I live in a place where there are almost no black people. It's very easy to use my limited personal experiences with them into a racist anger. But, that wouldn't solve reverse racism, and it wouldn't make me feel any better because it's hypocritical. To make up for the lack of diversity in my community, and to keep my anger against some individuals flare up into an anger against an entire people, I read and study black culture. I've signed petitions against the use of child soldiers in Uganda and I've exhaustively studied African American culture. I can understand why some African Americans might be hesitant to reach out and make white friends after what their ancestors suffered. After all, that would be like asking a Jew to shake hands with a non-Jewish German. But, that doesn't mean it can't happen. My grandfather survived the holocaust, yet he still lives in Germany. His wife is a Christian German woman. My grandfather harbored lifelong mental and physical scars due to the holocaust, yet he says that the past is the past and prefers to create a better future. He is an intellectual, and he reads extensively about German culture. I wish that both whites and blacks would follow in his example. They shouldn't forget the past, but they also shouldn't let prejudice pollute the future.

I wish there were more positive examples of black people in the US media and in my community, but reverse racism exists because of both black and white racism. My community is blocking African Americans from entering my school by dividing who can enter my school based on where they live. So it's not enough that we have segregated neighborhoods, but we also now have segregated schools. We also have a segregated media, allowing channels like the Black Entertainment Network to exist around several almost all-white channels. But, Girlfriends isn't any better than Friends. We can't just ignore that black or white people exist, we can't just create two seperate worlds in the guise of cultural pride. If we truly want to combat ignorance and prejudice, we must work together on both sides instead of just exchanging formal and politically correct niceties while secretly thinking the other person is a 'cracker' or a 'nigger.' We must diversify our neighborhoods, or schools, and our entertainment so that we think of people as individuals rather than an indistinguishable drone of their race. Have your own culture, but also keep your own idenity, personality and an open mind. Having a seperate identity and thinking on your own, educating yourself, and doing something about the prejudices you harbor, no matter how insignifigant they may seem, is the only way to destroy a hatred that ultimately destroys us all.

A Barbie Girl Returns!

I never thought what brought me into blogging in the first place would bring me back after my (indefinite ) hiatus. I was feeling down, so I took a break from blogging. But I'm back!

Roxic Waste started with and still has a Barbie girl look, as a joke on how people view me as a bimbo. But when I knew this theme, I knew this viewpoint was misleading. Barbie was not just a fashionista, but she was a fashionista who could be and do anything she wanted, from Veterinary Sciences to being a Princess. This variety, and the idea to be whatever you want, was immensely appealing to me ever since I can remember. But now, it seems Barbies have changed into some horrible joke of this ideal. When I was ten, I was a friendless tomboy who had a secret love for all things girlish, but not with the stereotypes that came with it. When I got my dream doll, Working Woman Barbie, put into my hands, I knew that this represented my dream. She had straight, beautiful hair, a designer powersuit, ridiculous high heels, and, my favorite accessory, a laptop. She said phrases like "saving money is smart," and she was the editor of a women's magazine. I was in love. This doll did not inspire me to pursue this dream, but rather, it represented a dream that already existed in me. Out of boredom, I checked the Barbie Website today to see what Mattel was up to. I was disappointed at what I found. There was only one dream represented instead of many, and that was of a simple fashionista. Now, as a fashionista, I can tell you clothes are "totally awesome." But they are only part of me, they don't define me. I love looking great, and I hate looking bad. But I also do other things besides styling my hair and wearing cute outfits. Working Woman did so, too. The new Barbies did not, in fact, their lives were defined by fashion instead of fashion fitting into their lives. A webisode on the website depicts Barbie and her friends, all voiced in annoying voices fit for Mean Girls, taking a break from shopping. But, being weak-minded fashionistas, they cannot keep from the mall, and are drawn to it like moths to the flame. Every other episode had a similar weak plot, consisting only of wearing pretty clothes and strutting around in them. I used to think Barbie was about more, was about achieving the impossible dream. Being a dumb fashionista is more than achievable, and is definitely not every girl's dream. This lack of diversity and glorification of sexist stereotypes is unacceptable. Consider this Barbie Girl disgusted.

I get so annoyed at superficial people sometimes. Here's an IM convo I had two nights ago. My brother forgot to exit his IM, and one of his chat buddies accidentally IM'd me. I told him my brother wasn't there, and that I was his sister. He wanted to talk anyway. Behold, how to lose a guy in 10 seconds:

Person: He never told me he had a sister... probably because he didn't want me to hit on you, lol
Me: I weigh 320 pounds, have serious acne, and I'm an anime geek. I doubt you would.

I'm the wicked bitch of the west ^_^!
Erm, that is all.
CHOW! And don't touch the sushi.

XOXOXO,
Roxanne